My story with depression

Hello everyone, today I wanted to talk about something a bit more personal and that is the topic of depression and mental health. This summer was a crazy one for me and no I don’t mean the good kinda crazy, it was a depressing one. For the first time in my life I suffer from a depression. I thought I been depressed before but this time it was like no other. I was actually going through a depression from back in December and little by little it kept getting worse. I was working a job that drained my energy and it took a huge toll in my life. I wasn’t feeling like myself at all, I stopped caring about me. I was neglecting my needs and my desires. I started to neglect my appearance. I stopped working out, I never had energy to do so. I even stopped my vegetarian diet and I started eating junk food, that was not good for my body. Eventually I gained weight which let to me feeling more depressed. My days consisted of me being in bed in the dark I did not want to be seen, feeling super low. Eventually something in me had enough of  feeling sorry for myself and that’s when things started to shift. I started to read and educating myself on the topic of depression. I honestly don’t agree on how the western world handles depression, I knew pills was not going to fix me. It was something internal that I needed to acknowledge something with myself.  I started self reflecting asking myself very difficult question. Until I finally realized why I was feeling so down because I was not happy with the life I was living. I felt that my soul was guiding me to make changes and I was very resistant to those changes.

Now I can say that those hard times made me self reflect so much that I am actually happy that it happen. I mean I can say that now, but when I was going through it I could not see the light I felt I was stuck in darkness for forever. We as humans have to deal with so many obstacles and hurdle in life that is going to take a toll on us. I really felt that I was so unhappy and dealing with so much pressure and stress that my soul just wanted a time out to recuperate from life. I feel very blessed that I was able to unplug (quit life) for a short time and just take care of me. Once I started to listen to myself my intuition, things got better. It was like the cloud open up and let the sun shine on me again. Is not like my life change drastically no, but my mental did. I started to feel happy, I felt joyful again. By practicing gratefulness it made me realize how lucky and blessed my life is. I was focusing on the wrong things before which let me to so much unhappiness.  I also learned to accept that life is not always rainbows and sunshine we go through difficult moments in our life but that’s just a part of life to get us to grow become stronger and wiser. 

(if you are going through depression right now and cant handle it on your own please go get help or talk to someone)

Things I did to help me during my depression.

* study depression

* self reflection/ journaling

* meditate

* become more grateful/ gratefulness attitude

* Get rid of the entitlement mentality.

* spent a lot of time alone in nature (Central Park)

* surround myself with people that I love and love me (my family)

* watched/ listen to motivational speakers on you tube

Books I read that helped me

Feeling Good by David D. Burn, M.D

Unfu*k Yourself by John Bishop

Awaken The Giant Within by Toby Robbins

The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

xo Rosaira

Advertisements

My small NYC room

room 1

Hello everyone, for today’s post I wanted to share my small but oh so cute room. I have been working on decorating my room for a while now and finally got it the way I envisioned it in my head. My room is quite small but since is just me is perfect! when I first moved in to this apartment I had a full size bed but it took up so much space and well again since it is just me sleeping here I figure i’ll get a smaller size bed so I can fit a vanity and a dresser. You’re noticing a lot of pink. To be honest I thought I was going to be over the whole pink room by 16 but yet here we are i’m a grown woman and I still have my pink room. I can’t help myself I love pink and I wanted a bit of pink in my room, and it came out perfect not too overwhelming.

room 2room 4room3

Hola a todos, para la publicación de hoy quería compartir mi habitación pequeña pero tan linda. He estado trabajando en la decoración de mi habitación por un tiempo y finalmente lo conseguí de la forma en que lo imaginé en mi cabeza. Mi habitaciónes bastante pequeña. Cuando me mudé a este apartamento tenía una cama de tamaño completo, pero ocupaba tanto espacio y bien, ya que solo soy yo  durmiendo aquí, me compre una cama más pequeña para que pueda caber un tocador.  Estás notando un montón de rosa, para ser sincero, pensé que iba a dejar la habitación rosa a los 16, pero aún así, aquí estamos, soy una mujer adulta y todavía tengo mi habitación rosa. No puedo evitarlo, me encanta el rosa y quería un poco de rosa en mi habitación, y salió perfecto, no demasiado abrumador.

room 7

xo Rosaira

My love for summer and new beginnings

My love for summer and new beginnings

 

Hello everyone, today I wanted to get a bit more personal on my blog and shared some of  the things that have been going on in my life lately.

IMG_3149

Is memorial day weekend which means summer is here yay. summer is my favorite season. I love everything about it, going to central park and enjoying the beauty of all the greenery we have around us. In the summer the days are longer. Everyone just want to have a good time, people seem happier. Everyone is outside enjoying the weather. living in nyc we don’t usually have backyards ( if you do consider yourself lucky) so everyone loves to chill outside on the block. In the summer the layers of clothes come off and summer fashion takes over. beautiful flowy dresses, denim shorts, cute tops, and you can actually wear cute sandals. l love summer because my birthday is during the summer also. This summer I have a feeling is going to be great I really do plan to enjoy it. As for me getting personal a lot has change in my life and well change is scary but it was change that needed to happen. I was working a 9-5 job that I hated it and made me literally sick to go to the place where my health started to take a toll. At first I thought I was being weak but after putting up with this job for a year I finally reached my breaking point and quit. I started getting depressed and anxiety took over oh boy. My weight even suffer. When I started the job I was in the best shape of my life.  As time when on stress started getting to me I notice I didn’t have the motivation or the will to push myself to go to the gym. My eating habits took a turn for the worst and all of this because I was so stressed out and so unhappy with my work life. Which brings me to the famous Steve Jobs quote “the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet keep looking don’t settle.”   I was doing great work but I hated it.  I dislike the company value and even my co workers it was hell. This quote made me realize something hey im still young this is not the end. After months of planning I saved up and I quit. It was the best decision I made in my life to trust myself and know that I deserve more and I will find it.  After I quit my job I was happy but the feeling of the unknown took over and boy did it scare me, it paralyzed me to the point where I wasnt even being productive. I didn’t have the energy to look for a job and didn’t really have the confidence to go to job interviews. But is time now its been 2 months of sitting home and having major freak out about my future I finally have the will to go and get hired. I don’t really know the point of this blog I just wanted to share that. Sometimes when we are not happy with our life it is up to us to make the change and as scary at that is, it must be done. This is going to sound a bit odd but I consider myself a bit odd it’s like for once in my life I am following the tiny voice in my heart. My intuition was screaming quit but I was in denial you know because well I need money to survive. Now that I started listening to it the more I learn to relax and just go with the flow of life. ( I mean I have my freak outs at times im only human)

32913fd8c21d002f131edc3667ca256e

XO Rosaira 

Spring cleaning and new shoe nook

Spring cleaning and new shoe nook

Hello everyone, today I was in the mood to spring clean my room and my entire closet. It was a very stressful situation. you know when you decide to take everything  out of your closet, well I did that. I was looking at the pile of clothes on the bed and I started stressing “like what the hell was i thinking” that kind of moment lol. Eventually I stopped freaking out and decided to just do it. Out of that situation this little shoe nook was born.

Behind my bed I took a shoe holder I had in my closet and just placed it by my window and included an ottoman so I can sit there and put my shoes on. I love the way it came out, and I was able to maximize my shoe storage. Yes I have a lot of shoes they are my weakness. Seriously the right shoe will add so such to a simple outfit. Collage_Fotor1_Fotor

Hola, ayer me dio la gran idea de limpiar por completo mi closet y mi cuarto. Fue una situación muy estresante. Sacé to do del armario y lo tire en la cama y me dio un ataque de nervios porque no lo podia creer, to do la ropa que tengo y que tengo que organizar fue duro. Pero ya despues se me paso y lo complete. Me dio la gran idea de hacer este ricónsito para mi zapatos. Me encanta como salio, y ahora tengo mas espacio para mas zapato ay. 

Collage_Fotor_Fotor

xo Rosaira

Marble top and new blog

IMG_0181

Hello everyone, today i wanted to share a quick diy i did on my bedroom dressers and my new blog. I had this idea to cover the top of my dresser with marble. Is an old dresser i had for years and the top was getting a bit distress. So what better way to cover it and make it look even better than with marble. I got this self adhesive marble paper from good old Amazon you can get yours here incase your interested.  I love the way it came out, it makes such a huge difference in my room.

Hola, hoy le quiero compartir un diy que hice y mi nuevo blog. Yo tengo este tocador pero ya se estaba poniendo viejito porque lo tengo ya por muchos años. Y decidir cubrirlo con un paper adhesivo de marbel y me encanto. IMG_0177.JPG

I finally got my own domain took me a while to do but i realize how much i enjoy blogging and want to keep at it. The next step was to get a proper domain. Finally Rosaira.com is here so excited! I have so many ideas for my blog cant wait to share with you all.

Tambien le queria contar del nuevo blog! Porfin Rosaira.com esta activo, tengo tantas cosas en mente que le quiero compartir aqui. 

IMG_0184

IMG_0185

IMG_0182

 

xo Rosaira